I. Ways of Relating to People
A. Be attentive and show concern. When shaking hands.
The Prophet (pbuh) never released
his hand first, and never turned his face away from others until they did.
Be consistently considerate
Inquire about the absent
Visit the sick
Share in others' interests.
Exchange gifts
Listen to and look at the speaker
B. Address people by the names they like.
One day the prophet asked a man
about his name, and he replied that it was Abdulhajjar (slave of stone). The
prophet said: "No, you're Abdullah" (the slave of Allah).
II. Requirements for Effective Da'wah
A. Don't blame the people for their mistakes or be critical.
Many people are hypersensitive to criticism.
Some people become defensive when blamed. When
Musa went to Pharoah, Allah said, "but speak to him
mildly........perchance he may take warning or fear (Allah)".
B. Don't embarrass by correcting someone in front of others.
The Prophet (pbuh) used to use plurality when
correcting a particular person in front of a group. For example, he would ask
the group, "what do you think about those who do such-and-such a bad
thing?".
C. Satisfy the people's halal needs.
Help those in need
Don't wait to assist the needy
until they ask you
The prophet (pbuh) always helped
the needy
The Prophet (pbuh) said,
"Whosoever removes a worldly grief from a believer, Allah will remove from
him one of the grieves of the Day of Judgment. Whoever alleviates [the lot of]
a needy person, Allah will alleviate [his lot] in this world and the next.
D. Always be fair, just, and honest.
E. Give others sincere respect and heighten their self-esteem.
Remember, if the respect you show
others is not genuine you will be showing hypocrisy, rather than respect.
One day a mushrik came to the
prophet (pbuh) who was sitting with Abu Bakr on his right. The Prophet had Abu
Bakr move to the left, and had the mushrik sit on his right, a position of
honor.
Two brothers came to speak to the
Prophet (pbuh) when the younger of them spoke first, the Prophet interrupted him
and asked the older to start.
F. Don't be angry or retaliate for injury to yourself, but be angry
or retaliate only for wrongdoing in the view of Allah.
III. Techniques for Growing Closer to Others
A. Attempt to understand deeply those you deal with
Find out their background
(cultural, educational, social, etc) because that helps in finding access to
their minds and hearts.
Attempt to know everyone equally
well. Favoritism creates mistrust and hurt feelings.
B. Be simple, moderate, and respectful.
C. Do not insulate yourself from the bad people. They need you more
than the others.
D. Be tactful
Avoid personal questions and
embarrassing comments
Address the person according to
his level of understanding
E. Be cheerful and enthusiastic
Al-Harith, a companion said, I
have never seen anyone who smiled most of the time as the Prophet (pbuh) did.
F. Present a pleasant appearance
Be clean and neat
Observe decency in dress
Wear clothing that is harmonious
to the total outfit
The prophet (pbuh) saw someone
with uncombed hair and asked, "Didn't you find something with which to
comb it?"
Never eat raw onion or garlic
when going to the masjid or to meet with people.
IV. Obstacles to Da'wah
A. Don't be afraid of temptation.
Some people fear contact with
non-Muslims for fear of succumbing to their bad influence. The remedy for this
is to strengthen one's faith.
B. Don't be shy.
Some people lack the courage to
mix with others and socialize.
The remedy for this is practice.
C. Fear of one's inability to express oneself and lack of
confidence in one's capabilities for logical analysis and persuasion. The
remedy for this is practice.
V. The field for Da'wah: school, neighborhood, workplace and family.
